


Three's Company

by JewelQueen



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: AH crew appears, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Developing Relationship, F/M, Focus on relationship, Hint it's Gavin, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewelQueen/pseuds/JewelQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin has a secret that he's been hiding, and he thinks Michael might just be the one he can confide in.  It sure would suck if Michael would take it badly--or anyone else for that matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was supposed to be just another regular old bro night between two of them. Playing Xbox, maybe even a little Minecraft on their own, but mostly shooting each other up in good old-fashioned fun. Fun being the key word.

  
Gavin toyed with the controller, making his guy move in choppy circles on the screen, before putting it down with a sigh. “Michael, can we talk?”

  
“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” he said, pressing pause on their game and turning to his British companion. He watched him fidget for awhile, opening his mouth just to lick his lips and shut it again. That’s when he knew. Gavin was never quiet like this. He was always loud; loud with his words and with his actions. “Something bothering you, Gavin?”

  
Gavin still took a little while to answer him. “You’re my best mate, right?”

  
“Yeah. You’re my boy, Gav,” he ran a hand through his curls and sighed. “Hang on a sec, if we’re gonna do some fucking heart to heart bullshit, I at least need some alcohol in me so I can say I wasn’t sober when it happened,”

  
Michael got up from the couch, walking to his kitchen area to grab two shot glasses from his cabinet and yank the fridge open. He stood there, debating what exactly to use for this magnificent occasion. He decided he might as well finish it off and pulled out that stupid grey goose vodka that always pissed him off. Why even call it grey goose if the fucking bird on the damn label was fucking white? What retard was in charge of the design committee? Oh, I have a brilliant idea. Let’s put a fucking bird on our bottle-you know what, it doesn’t even have to be a goose, I just want some shitty white bird on our bottle and then we’ll put “grey goose” in blue just to fuck with their heads. Yeah, some brilliant thinking there, dipshit.

  
Before he could even put everything down in front of them, Gavin was already chugging away straight from the bottle. “Woah, man, it’s called liquid courage, not fucking-get-sloshed-up-the-ass, Jesus Christ, Gavin!”

  
Gavin put the bottle down and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, giving Michael a short look before averting his gaze to the floor. Michael eased the bottle out of his grip and poured himself a few shots just to feel the manly burn before he’d have to get all sappy. He looked at Gavin out of the corner of his eye. The younger male was still trying to get his shit together. He took another shot to prepare himself because, whatever it was, it was going to be some hard shit to deal with from the looks of it.

  
“Michael,” Gavin started, his distress making his accent all the more noticeable. “I, I-I’m…”

  
Michael cut in to make it easier on him. “Dude, are you coming out to me?”

  
Gavin bit his bottom lip. “Well…yes, but not in _that_ way,”

“Well, what the fuck is it? Yes or no?” he asked, voice reaching into an almost growl as he rubbed at his head.

Gavin took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. “I’m asexual,”

Well, that’s certainly not what he was expecting. Michael blinked. “The fuck? Gavin, what British nonsense are you talking to me about?”

“I don’t-” he sighed. “I’m not attracted to anyone sexually,”

“Wait,” Michael said, lifting a hand to signal he needed time to process this. He was sure that it wasn’t just the alcohol’s fault. “Like you don’t find anyone attractive? That’s hard shit, man,”

Gavin felt his lips curl. “Not really. Like, you’re an attractive enough bloke, I guess,” he said, shrugging. “But I don’t want to shag you,”

“That’s ‘cause you’re fucking straight, you fucking moron,” Michael laughed.

Gavin shook his head. “I don’t want to shag anyone. Never have,”

Michael tried really hard to understand that, he really did. “You lost me again, buddy,”

“Like, I want to be with someone but not _be_ with them. Ya know?”

“Oh…that makes sense, I guess,” he said, nodding. He paused. “What’re you telling me this for?”

Gavin went back to fidgeting, staring at the empty hands in his lap. His mouth was dry and he wished Michael would let him have the bottle back. It helped the first time. “I want that someone to be you, Michael…” he said softly, looking up through his eyelashes at him.

“Oh,” Michael said, slouching back into his couch. “Oh. I-I see,”

Gavin waited a little while, squirming in his seat on the edge of the couch cushions. “Well, you silly sausage,” he began, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Are you gonna say anything?”

Michael looked him in the eyes for a short while then peered at the remains of the vodka in the bottle he still held by the neck. Wasn’t much left. He swirled the bottom few ounces around, listening to the tiny splashing sound it made. Might as well finish it off. He put the bottle to his lips, trying not to think about how Gavin’s lips were just there, and took his time swallowing the last mouthful.

“Michael, please!” Gavin’s sudden shout startled him. Both of them, it seemed. It’s was Gavin’s turn to look away as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I, I just…need you to say something. I’ve never really told anyone before and-”

“Shut the fuck up, Gavin,” Michael said. “You want me to say something? Well, here it is,”

Gavin saw him raise his hand and flinched, waiting for the inevitable punch. But Michael just put his hand on top of his. He blinked, looking up in time to see one of those cheesy grins he always loved on the darker-haired gent, although this one was a little more insecure than usual. “You’re my boy, Gavvy Wavvy. Always,”

Gavin snuffled. “Michael-”

“C’mere, you fucking idiot,” he said, pulling him into a hug that Gavin gratefully melted in to. “So, how does this work? What am I supposed to do?”

Gavin smiled as he snuggled closer. “This,” he sighed. “Just this,”


	2. Chapter 2

This had to be the most nerve-wracking moment in all his twenty four years of life; telling his secret to Michael being a close second. He had decided the morning after Gavin confessed to him that Lindsay had to weigh in on the whole thing ASAP. Which meant now, apparently, once they finished their Saturday dinner. While he was all for Michael taking control-he couldn’t handle doing it all over again to _Michael’s fiancée-e_ ven with a tight grip on Michael’s- _his_ little Michael now-hand, facing down Lindsay’s extremely scrutinizing stare and stoic facial response to him explaining the situation was almost impossible. So, he didn’t.

“You’re still the one I’m engaged to Lindsay, this changes nothing. And if it really bothers you, then I won’t do it. So what do you think?” Michael finished.

“Gavin,” Lindsay said. Gavin jumped with a little squawk, catching Michael’s split-second grin before swallowing and raising his gaze to look her in the eye. “So, basically, you wanna be more than just friends with Michael but you don’t want to fuck him?”

“I, uh, I suppose you could call it that,” he stammered.

She narrowed her eyes and turned her head slightly to the right. He gulped. “This isn’t some little prank of yours, is it?”

“No!” he nearly shouted. “I would never mess around with your relationship with Michael-er, well, like in that way,”

“So you really don’t want to boink Michael?” she asked once more.

“Nah, I’ll leave you two mates to shag each other. I’m not into that stuff,”

“Aww,” Lindsay pouted, showing some real emotion now. “I was really hoping to see some hot, big, fat, gay, sausage-fest between you two,”

Michael burst out laughing, Gavin could feel his body shake just from their connecting hands, but all he wanted to do was faint with relief.

“Sorry, Linds, you’re stuck with plain-old snuggle action,” he said, finishing his bout of laughter with a wide grin.

“Like that’s any different from the usual,” she retorted, collecting their dinner plates and leaning down to kiss her fiancé. “This means you’ll be around here more often, right?”

“I wouldn’t want to invade your privacy-”

“I’m not asking you to move in to our bedroom, Gavin,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But you are gonna visit a lot more, yes?”

“Yeah, it’ll be top!” Michael piped up.

Gavin smiled at his exuberance. “Tippy top,” he said, at last.

 

* * *

 

“Good morning, Gavvy Wavvy,” Michael crowed as he entered the office, giving Gavin his now customary greeting complete with a quick, almost not even there peck to his forehead and hair ruffle. Every time he did that, his whole body would tingle kind of like his water verses fire video where every part of him was lit but he wasn’t really burning because Dan was spraying him with a hose except without Dan there and getting all wet so maybe it was more like the flaming hand fireball but all over starting from head to toe even though that happened to Dan again and he wasn’t sure how that felt. Bollocks. Well, it felt like what he imagined _that_ felt like and he swore the bloody prick knew with the cheeky grin he always gave after.

Gavin pouted before giving in to a natural smile. It did feel really nice and his hair was already “messed up” according to the lads in the office. “You seem awfully cheery today, Michael,”

“You seem awf’ly cheery today, Mi-cool!” he parroted in his terrible mocking accent before taking his seat, his bright grin never leaving his face.

“Let’s just say a certain _someone_ or something has gotten Lindsay in the mood,” he winked. “This might just be the best decision we ever made,”

“Ugh, Michael! I didn’t need to know that!” he said in a disgusted tone, but a little blush appeared for his “involvement” in Michael’s happiness. Secretly, or not so secretly really, he couldn’t be more pleased at how well everybody was transitioning into their “relationship”. Sometimes he thought he had to be dreaming because things certainly never went this well outside of the movies.

“Oi, what am I, chopped liver?” Geoff complained. “I was the one who brought your Gavvy Wavvy in after you practically stole him all weekend,”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Geoff. You’re the best boss in the world,” Gavin said.

“Damn right I am. Now get to work, you assholes,”

Michael chuckled and put on his headphones, giving Gavin one last look before turning to focus on his computer screen. Gavin hummed to himself, getting lost in the arduous task of editing their newest Let’s Play. It was challenging work, having to sort through everyone’s footage and then select which shots to use and when. He tried to make it fair and give everybody the same amount of screentime but it wasn’t always the easiest thing to do. And then he had to make sure the audio worked, fix the file size so YouTube could upload it without crashing his computer, double-check everything once more, and finally upload it. Uploading was the easiest part. He just had to sit there and wait for it, however long it took. Well, most days he left it to upload over night because it usually took an hour or two even at the compressed size. He much preferred editing his slo-mo videos. They were a lot shorter, for one, and he loved shooting them. He got to spend time with his mate, Dan, and do all sorts of sciency-stuff and faff about a little while making them. Plus, he got to wear a lab coat. What could be more top than wearing a lab coat?

A punch to the shoulder knocked him out of his musings.

“Ow, Michael,” he whined. “What was that for?”

“Come on, Dickie Bitch, let’s get lunch,” Michael said, grinning like a bloody fool with his fist still up.

He checked the time. It was barely a quarter after eleven, but they did get here early and Michael looked so…happy.

“Alright,” he said, the sly part of him wondering how much he could get away with with this not-so-uncharacteristic version of Michael. “But you’re paying,”

“Fuck no!” Michael snapped, more like usual. “You think I’m fucking made of money or something? Pay for your own god-damn meal, you piece of shit,” His lips were curling by the end of it, as if Gavin couldn’t already tell he wasn’t being truly serious, and he chuckled.

“Then I get to pick where we’re going to get our nosh,”

Michael shook his head. “Sure, Gav, whatever you say,”


	3. Chapter 3

Gavin had absent-mindedly grabbed Michael’s hand while he blabbed on about something as they ate and the feeling of Michael’s hand on his was brilliant, like a thousand stars burning all at once-especially when Michael’s thumb ghosted over his knuckles. So brilliant, in fact, that he hadn’t noticed that they strolled back into the office together hand-in-hand. It wasn’t an entirely unusual thing; they’ve held hands before, a few times even on camera, and they were getting noticeably more touchy-feely as of late. He supposed it probably was the other thing that was really unusual that got them in trouble.

“Hold up,” Michael murmured. “I left my glasses in the car. You go on in and I’ll be back in a jiffy, okay, babe?” He pressed a kiss to his cheek before ducking out. Gavin’s eyes were solely focused on Michael and he missed the dark look on his boss’ face as he furrowed his eyebrows at the scene he just witnessed. It left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Hey, Gavin,” Geoff began slowly. “Did Michael just call you _‘babe’_?”

Gavin snapped his attention to him, lingering in the doorway he was only a few paces from. “I, er, yeah. I suppose he did just now, didn’t he?” he laughed nervously. “Nothing slips past through ya, eh, Geoff?”

He crossed his arms in response. “We need to talk. _Now_ ,” Gavin swallowed thickly. He couldn’t catch a break, could he? It had barely been a few weeks since he had told Michael and Lindsay both about his secret and they were still getting used to it all. Lindsay was, somehow, always open-minded and understanding and Michael was, amazingly, perfect feeding him hugs and cuddles and little kisses of affection here and there as if he needed them to survive. But they had difficulty in balancing Michael-time between the two of them. Now that Gavin finally found a person that he felt _anything_ more than platonic for, and said person was totally okay with giving him what he wanted and not pressing for anything more, he had a hard time letting him go. So far, they settled on Michael was all his during work-mostly because it usually was their job to work together so Lindsay was allowed a few lunches out of it-and his on the weekends, although it was mutual cuddling time. Michael liked it. At least, he assumed so; the Jersey boy would stretch out, one arm around both of their shoulders while they all snuggled for movie night, and declare that he was a pimp with a laugh.

Lindsay rolled her eyes and gave him a light punch to the right side of his ribcage.

“Why are you so abusive to me, bitch? I’m your pimp!” he shouted. Gavin couldn’t, or didn’t, cover his snort and Michael rounded on him. “And what do you think you’re laughing at?”

“You’d be a terrible pimp, Michael,” he said.

“Yeah? Well, you’d be a terrible customer with your fucking made up words. Why?” he asked him.

“Oh, this’ll be good,” Lindsay murmured, getting up to make popcorn.

“You’re too short, for one. No one would be intimidated by you. Plus your cheeks are so pinchable,” he said, reaching up to pinch them.  Michael jerked away, slapping his hand with a crossed-eyed look that Gavin laughed at. “And you wear stupid My Little Pony shirts, not very manly there, Michael,”

"You take that back," he growled, advancing forward until Gavin fell on his back and Michael hovered over him.

"Or what?" he challenged, quirking an eyebrow.

"Or else," Michael said, grinning. The microwaved beeped in the space where they were too busy staring at each other’s grins to say anything.

"You’re an awful pimp, Michael," he said, a little breathy. “And Fluttershy sucks,"

"That’s it," he said, tackling him off the couch and tickling him mercilessly as Lindsay walked in and munched on her popcorn.  She watched them for a bit, seeing the happiness radiate from both of them and tucked away the thought that had been plaguing her from the start.  It wasn’t their fault that they meshed so well together, but still…

"Alright, children, let’s finish this movie before I send you off to bed," she said, distracting them and herself.

"Michael started it!"

“It was Gavin’s fault, babe.” They said at the same time despite curling up on the couch again with no more protests.

"And I’m ending it," she laughed, setting the bowl of popcorn on Michael’s lap and giving both of them a kiss on the cheek. “See? All kissed and made up, now let’s watch the damn movie,"

They both settled in after that, Lindsay just had that affect on people.  She kinda was like a mom to them, sometimes. It was almost like they were his second family. Well, second second family really-the Ramseys were there first, of course.

Oh, wait, Ramseys—

“Hello, earth to Gavin! Were you even fucking listening to me?”

“Yeah, er, sorry, I was just…thinking. Let’s go have that talk, shall we?” he said, squeaking a little. Geoff snorted and shook his head, but otherwise silently started to lead him out looking, unfortunately for Gavin, reminiscent of a pissed-off grizzly bear.

“Yo, Geoff, what’s going on?” Michael called, spotting Gavin looking like a dejected puppy preparing to follow Geoff who knows where on his way back in.

“Gavin and I are just having a little father-pseudo-adopted-British-son talk,” he continued, seeing Michael begin to open his mouth to oppose him, in a way that sounded full of doom even though it was just as cheery up front. “Don’t worry, you’ll get yours soon, lover-boy,”

“Well, shit,” was all Michael could say, watching his boss escort his boyfriendish-person into an unused conference room.

“So,” Ray said from the doorway, sudden but not surprising, sipping at his Coke. “Do I give a shoutout to Team Mavin or what?”

Michael sighed and ran a hand through his curls. “I don’t even know, dude,” He shouldered past him and sat at his desk with his head in his hands for awhile.

* * *

Geoff wasn’t a pacer. When he was in awkward situations or when he was feeling nervous and jittery, he didn’t do anything like that. He just stood, slouching against the wall with his tattooed arms across his chest, and stared you down until he found the words he wanted to say.

It was like Lindsay all over. Except Lindsay wasn’t his boss and didn’t own a gun that she knew all-too-well how to use. So, he was worse. Much, _much_ more worse than Lindsay could ever be. And Gavin envied the way he could be so still when he himself was practically squirming in his seat and his trousers were in danger of being messed.

Finally, Geoff sighed and unfolded himself to take a seat across the table from him. “What the fuck is going on, Gavin?” he asked tiredly. “You know I won’t say anything and I won’t judge you, but I need to know. Are you and Michael…screwing around behind Lindsay’s back?”

“No, of course not!” Gavin blurted. “Lindsay knows all about it,”

He could have smacked himself. He probably should have.

“Jesus Christ, Gavin!”

“No, no! That’s not what I meant!” he said, using his hands to help placate him. “I just, Michael and I…and Lindsay, it’s…it’s complicated,”

“What, are you with both of them or something?” Geoff said, trying to understand Gavin’s mumblings.

“Well, I’m with Michael and Lindsay’s with Michael at the same time, but it’s different, Geoff. Michael and Lindsay are a real couple, Michael and I, he just…it’s all non-sexual. We aren’t screwing around…ya know?” he finished.

“I think so,” Geoff grunted. “And Lindsay’s okay with all this?”

“Yeah, she’s been bloody amazing about all of this. Real top,”

“And Michael?”

“What about Michael?” Gavin asked, scrunching his nose.

“Does he treat you-the both of you-well?”

Gavin smiled softly. “He’s better than I could’ve wished him to be,” he admitted to the table.

“Alright, alright,” Geoff said. “I knew you seemed happier, but I had to be sure. Just…tone down the PDA, okay? I’m pretty sure you guys want to keep this on the down-low and I don’t want people getting the wrong ideas and harassing any of you,”

Gavin nodded emphatically. “Will do, Geoff. Can I go now?”

Geoff sighed, but smiled anyway. “Yeah, let’s go,”

Gavin pretty much bounced his way back in, more than happy that the talk went so well, and spun around in his chair until he got too close and Michael kicked him back. Geoff stayed hovering outside and waiting.

“Michael, what was that for?” he pouted.

“For being annoying and in my space, you retard,” he retorted, picking his headphones off.

“Don’t be a git. I think Geoff’s waiting for you anyway,” he said sticking out his tongue.

“Yippie,” Michael said, tone flat, standing up and flicking at Gavin’s tongue to make himself feel a little better.

“I’m gonna make this easy for the both of us,” Geoff spoke, hushed and more than a little concerned. He could see the tense lines set into Michael’s shoulders and hoped he would still listen while the cloud of his sudden irritation was gathering around him. Once he got fully into his “Rage Quit” mode, nothing else would get through to him until his video game blood lust was over.

Well, except for Gavin. There was a reason he paired them up every once in a while besides for “fan service”, though that certainly helped. Normally it took a lot to wind him up like this, but Geoff really worried about his health during the times he made it there. He joked about it, yeah, because that’s what guys do. You don’t talk about feelings. You just send Gavin in to make sure his rage doesn’t really rage quit him with a trip to the hospital one of these days and watch the nod you get in return to know that the gesture is appreciated. But today he was being proactive. That way no one can say he didn’t try to step in and clean up the situation before it exploded into the inevitable mess it’s going to be and need to be taken care of; and if that meant being a little more chick-flick, well, fuck it. He’s been through worse and Michael was a good kid. Nothing he couldn’t handle.

“I already told Gavin this-”

“Then why the fuck are you telling me?” he shot back, crossing his arms.

“Just listen,” he said, fighting the urge to say something with a little more bite. “Like I told Gavin, I don’t want any drama, so just tone it down,”

“Why? You got something against two guys being together?” Michael pressed, inching into his space.

“Fuck no, I don’t care if you’re gay or straight or whatever,” he said, shaking his head and taking a step back.

“Who said anything about being fucking gay!” he exclaimed.

“You did!”

Michael just stared at him, working his jaw so much that it must’ve hurt. “Shut the fuck up, Geoff, you don’t know anything,” he said, but it was rather lack-lustre compared to their earlier tête-à-tête. They kept a steady stare even as Michael started to turn away.

“Fucking clear out, doin’ a Rage Quit early,” he stomped back in, the dark cloud that had been forming above his head now complete with thunderstorms. Ray knew better and ducked out without saying a word or looking at him, pulling Gavin out with his headphones still on-backwards of course-by yanking at the tee of his shirt.

“What the fuck got into him?” he asked Geoff as he shut the door behind him. Gavin blinked at him expectantly, wondering the same thing.

He frowned in response. “I’m not 100% sure, but whatever it is, it isn’t good,”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was, and always will be, dedicated to dbeltfan1203 to motivating me to start posting again.

           “Fuck!” Michael said, throwing his controller down onto his desk.  He pressed a short-cut key to stop the recording and put his head in his hands.  It had barely been thirty minutes and he was sure he had enough for a four minute clip at least without really editing it; although it wasn’t his fault that Cassie’s Animal Sounds was such a shitty game to play.  Which wasn’t the norm at all.  Usually he had to play the game for a little bit, silently fuming the whole way there, until he felt ready to explode.  That’s when he usually started the Rage Quit videos and pieced together the best moments without disrupting the continuity of the actual recording too much.  Sometimes it could take hours to gather enough material to work like that.

            Sighing, he pushed himself away from his desk and stared at nothing in particular, hoping to calm down enough that he wasn’t seeing red from the corners of his eyes.  He could hear his blood thrumming, racing like his angry thoughts, and he exhaled through his nose deeply.  He felt a little woozy after it, but his thoughts started to get quieter which made his blood seem not to pound away as much.  In fact, he was starting to feel better after his sudden inexplicable rage spell.

            Then Gavin popped his head in. “Oi, Michael, I haven’t heard any yelling in a bit.  Is it alright if we come in now?”

            He tensed at just the sound of his voice.  So much for his progress.  “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’m actually going out for a break,” he said, standing up and stretching.

            Gavin bounced all the way inside. “That sounds lovely. Where we going?” he grinned at Michael.  He looked like a puppy promised to go for a ride and some treats.  And now, all of his anger faded away.  There was just a heavy pit in his stomach and he let his arms fall down to his sides.

            “Actually, I, uh,” he stammered, not able to look Gavin in the face, much less eyes, anymore. “I was gonna take Lindsay out…”

            “Oh,” he said, deflating and looking away himself.  He shuffled his feet. “Well, you go do that, mate. Have fun,”

            “Yeah, thanks,” he mumbled.  His body stepped forward, hand reaching out to pull Gavin to him for a goodbye kiss like they usually do, but he froze halfway through it.  Shame sizzled through him when he caught Gavin’s expectant eyes watching him, seeing how he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  He licked his lips, waiting for him to say something Gavin-like to make him laugh so he could pretend it’s all normal again.  But he didn’t.  Things felt askew, wrong, awkward between them.

            “It’s okay, Michael,” he whispered suddenly.  Michael almost jumped. “I understand. Geoff and all-”

            “Right, yeah, Geoff,” he said, latching onto the excuse he was given.  Something had changed and he wasn’t sure what or why.  “I guess, I’ll just…be going now,”

            “Yeah, okay.  See you after then, yeah?” he asked, perking up only slightly with hope.

            “Of course, Team Nice Dynamite, dude,” he said, plastering on a grin and holding out his fist. Gavin smiled back, returning the bump and things started to feel almost normal again.

            “Sorry for interrupting this homo-fest, but I’ve got work to do,” Ray spoke, nudging in around the two.  Geoff followed, chatting with Jack who just arrived, but Michael could feel his gaze on him.  He hunched his shoulders and huffed.

            “I’m out of here,” he grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking off.

            “Michael, wait!” Gavin called out before he left the room completely.  Michael stalled at the doorway, half-turning. “I-I’m sorry,”

            “’S not your fault, Gav,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I’m just not feeling like myself,”

            “Alright boys, let’s set up for today’s AHWU!” Gavin turned, hearing Geoff’s voice, but by the time he turned to face Michael again, he was gone.

**

            She didn’t say anything when Michael practically yanked her out of the office and into the car to go to some restaurant for lunch.  She didn’t say anything during the period of silently sitting at a table and waiting for their food.  She didn’t say anything when he started sounding like a caveman with all his grunting to their server.  And she didn’t say anything for the first few moments when they began their silent meal.  But it wasn’t too much longer after.  He had fumed and wallowed in whatever it was for long enough now.

            “So, what’s the deal?” Lindsay asked, putting down her burger.

            “Nothing’s the deal. Why does something have to fucking be wrong with me for me to take you out for lunch? Jesus,” he snapped, stabbing his baked potato.

            “Because I know you and there’s only two reasons you don’t eat. One, something’s wrong or, two, you’re being stupid,”

            “Fuck you,” he said.

            “Eat me,” she retorted, knowing that he wasn’t really pissed at her.  And there it was, the slight quirk of his lips.  “So, what’s up, bub?”

            “I don’t know, I’m just feeling off today,” he sighed. “Geoff confronted us at work today about mine and Gavin’s PDA or whatever, I guess, and ever since then I’ve just been minged off,”

            Lindsay hid her smile in another bite of her burger. “It’s cute that you two have your own language,”

            “What?” he scrunched up his nose and Lindsay refrained herself from flicking something at him.  But only just barely since he was adorable when making faces like that with all of his freckles; he looked like the child he acted like most of the time.  “Oh, yeah, our Gav’s such an idiot sometimes,”

            “ _Our_ Gav?” she stressed.

            “Yeah, that’s what he is, isn’t he? I mean, I know we haven’t really talked about what all are to each other, but, like, he’s ours now, right? Whatever he is to us?” he asked, tilting his head just a little.

            Lindsay paused before answering.  That feeling from before, watching Gavin and Michael fool around on movie night, was like a burning in her gut with the smoke sticking in her throat.  She wanted to be selfish, to let her impatience take over and just tell him everything.  She was tired of waiting.  Especially when she could already see where all of this was heading. _'Focus on one thing at a time, Tuggs. This is more important right now'._  So, she nodded, bit back her initial comment and reached for his hand. “I just meant our Gav is an idiot practically all of the time, you don’t have to sugar-coat it,”

            He laughed, which is what she intended, and squeezed her hand. “Yeah, you’re right,”

            “Aren’t I always?” she said, grinning.

            “That’s why you’re the brains in this relationship,” he said.

            “Clearly,” she snorted, pulling away. “Now eat your food,”

            Michael ran a hand through his curls sheepishly. “Actually, I forgot that I went out with Gavin for food not too long ago, so…I’m not really that hungry in the first place but I needed an excuse to get out of there, away from the guys, away from-” he cut himself off with a shrug, looking down at the table.  Her raised eyebrow went unnoticed by him.  “Sorry about wasting money or whatever,”

            “If you wanted us to go run away into the sunset together, you should have just said so. A lot cheaper than paying for food you just smashed to pieces,” she teased, ignoring the funk he just got into for whatever reason and trying to cheer him up.

            “It’s way too early for the sunset,” he said, looking at the time.  “Hey, do you think we have time for a quickie?”

            Clearly a distraction but she didn’t mind at all. “Let’s find out,” she grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This may be triggering for some people with anxiety as I deal with insecurity and the fear of rejection a bit in this chapter. It was uncomfortable for me just writing it.

Michael came in during the filming of AHWU, but those fuckers took so many shots it wasn’t funny.  He could just walk in, sit down at his desk, put his headphones on and ignore the world until it was time for their Let’s Play-which is what he did; Lindsay sat on the couch in the background waiting to film the behind the scenes.  Making that stop at his apartment for a quickie-record time by the way-really helped with his feeling off but he didn’t want to jinx it.  So no interaction with anyone.  Not even Gavin; especially not Gavin.  He was just going to sit there and edit and stuff.

            He did not notice that Gavin was doing his own thing for the longest time like he was instead of being his usual annoying self in the background.  He did not jump up to Gavin’s aide when Jack hit him, nor did he want to; he had work to do and Gavin was a big boy-he could handle it on his own.  And he especially did not get jealous or irritated or anything at all at Ray because he jumped on top of Gavin and was all over him for a good while.  Nope, not at all.

            Fuck.

            “Alright, great, almost everybody’s here. Someone go get Ryan and let’s all set up,” Geoff said as soon as the light went off on the camera.

            “On it!” Ray said, jumping up and sprinting to the door.  He was pretty sure that a “parkour!” could be heard down the way.  He just shook his head at his friend’s enthusiasm and got up to set up his stupid microphone for the stupid Let’s Play.  God, he just knew today was going to be all downhill from now.

            Fuck, goddamn those assholes were annoying, too.  Why did he have to be right for once?  As soon as Ray brought Ryan in, all hell broke loose.  Even Jack was in on the shenanigans, messing around with their mic set up and then talking over Geoff and dying during the intro.  He couldn’t take it any more.

            “Alright, Michael, uh, do you wanna team up with me so we can win?” Gavin asked.

            “Do I wanna team up with you, Gavin? With _you_ -”  He turned to face Gavin, ready to take out his frustration on him until he saw his face.  Shit, he looked so earnest or whatever.  It was…cute.

            He swung back to his monitor, determined not to share any more looks with his stupid mug.  Gavin wasn’t cute, he was an idiot!  A stupid, lovable idiot that the fans loved to see him play with.  He sighed inwardly.

            “Hell, yes, I do,” he eventually said.  He took awhile to answer, but the rest of it came enthusiastic enough. “You wanna know why, Gavin? ‘Cause you’re my boy!”

            “You’re my boy, Michael!” he squeaked back.  He could tell he was beaming because his face was hurting a pinch, but after their weird afternoon he needed a little reassurance that he really was Michael’s boy, that everything was going to be okay even though Geoff put a damper on their actual showing of affection.  But that didn’t matter because it was going to be a great Let’s Play, today.  And, with Michael’s help, he might even win the Tower!

**

            Well, it was a great Let’s Play for the two of them until he was killed by Ray when he had the blaze rod.

            “ _How_ could you not build a fucking potions stand?” Michael asked, still upset by it.

            “It was bloody difficult,” he said in his defence.

            “It-no-” was the garbled mess out of his teammate’s mouth, so he continued explaining himself and laughing at his own mistake a little.

            “I couldn’t find it on the menu.”

            “I know, you kept screaming ‘I can’t find it, I can’t find it’, I can’t find it’,” he replied rather calmly.  Gavin figured now would be a good time to team back up now that he wasn’t so ragey.

            “Alright, well how-what’s the situation, Michael?” he asked.

            “Uhh, we need a fucking blaze rod?” Michael said, his voice reaching a higher pitch at the end.

            “No, d’you, do you have a map?” Gavin corrected.

            “…Yeah,”

            “Okay, come to me on the map,”

            “I-no,” he said.

            “Why?” Gavin asked instantly.

            “Uh, because I hate you and you’re on the other side of the world.”  The words slipped out of his mouth like it was nothing.  There wasn’t even a tone.  It was just bland, calm-the most dangerous version of his rage.

            Gavin swallowed his spike of confusion and fear, though he didn’t do enough.  It rang clear in his voice. “But, Michael,” he said, ignoring the mocking in the background. “What happened to Team Nice Dynamite?”

            “You fucked it up! You ruined it!” Michael replied, this time with a little more emotion.  But even that didn’t make him feel any better because the words stung far more than anything he was used to.  Michael knew about his fear of rejection-everyone at the office did, it was common knowledge-and he still said it.  He could handle being called a tosspot, a wanker, a prick, an idiot, bloody mental or any combination of those.  The lads didn’t mean it and the persona he put out for the videos and the Achievement Hunter community fit that description sometimes. 

            Being called worthless, a fuck up, someone who messes everything up…that was different.  If people thought of him like that, then what use do they have for him?  He wouldn’t be wanted, and he couldn’t have that.  And Michael knew that, _Michael knew it_.  Michael was his best friend above everything; they shared all of their secrets and fears and desires.  Gavin knew about his fear that he’d one day only be known for his Rage Quit series, that people would think he wasn’t good at anything else than being mad, and Michael knew that he secretly wished he could be the next Doctor, someone who saves people and worlds and was loved and respected for who he was.  The only reason he could think of for him to say something like that was because Michael _wanted_ to hurt him.  Michael was actually _mad_ at him.

            Michael didn’t want him.

            He struggled through his thoughts, trying not to let his emotions show through on his face, or worse, his voice, and he prayed to a god he wasn’t sure of that he wasn’t being filmed right now for a ‘behind the scenes’ clip.  He had to pretend that he wasn’t dying on the inside.  He had to pretend that he didn’t want to make Michael look at him and tell him what he had done to make him so angry, to make him hate him, because it couldn’t be that he died at a crucial part in the game, the silly Minecraft game he couldn’t care less about if his Gavvy Wavvy didn’t like it and if they didn’t play it for their Let’s Plays.  He died all the time.  It was part of his persona, it kept their Let’s Plays active.  So he must have done something to actually piss him off.

            Come to think of it, he started being weird around Geoff’s little intervention.  What if Geoff scared him off?  What if he realised that he wasn’t worth the effort because he wasn’t going to put out?  What if Michael never really liked him at all and he was just pretending because he couldn’t figure out a way to back out without hurting his feelings?  It made sense; Michael wasn’t gay.  He was engaged to Lindsay for Christ’s sakes and she was a beautiful, smart, _sexual_ woman.  He couldn’t compete with that.

            “I didn’t ruin it!” he yelled, not sure if he was responding to Michael or his own thoughts.

            “You ruined it,” he insisted, voice reaching a deep rumble that usually comforted him-like a cat’s purr-but now sent chills to his spine.

            Ray cut in while words failed him in that moment.  He took a deep breath and exhaled.  He just needed to focus on playing the game and not breaking down in front of an audience and ruining their recording-it was already bloody long and he was not looking forward to splicing it all together, not just because of the whole thing with Michael either-so what would he normally do?

            Get Michael’s attention, either by pleading or bugging him until he had to react.  Bloody hell, his life sucked.  But he would have to just make lemons out of lemonade or however that saying went and do his best to act normal.

            Turns out, he was pretty good with acting, but he wasn’t the only one.  Or, at least, he hoped so.

            “I was teamed up with you the whole time, it was an act you fucking idiot!” Michael said, turning away from his microphone to yell more directly at his face.

            “I didn’t know, I was convinced!” he said back, the relief evident in his entire body.  He didn’t even care that they lost by mere seconds to Ryan.  He still had his little Michael, and that’s all that mattered.


	6. Chapter 5, Side B

 

It was like his phone was taunting him.  He couldn’t tell you how often he got those false vibrations thinking he heard his phone go off, or even how many times he picked it up and began typing out  ~~‘You should have known’~~

~~'You dumb fuck, can’t you realise’~~

~~'Just tell me you’ll be alright’~~

~~'I’m sorry I can’t be what you need’~~

But he just couldn’t follow through.  He couldn’t be the one to break Gavin’s heart like that.  He was a coward because he didn’t want to hurt his friend, because he couldn’t live up to his expectations.  He always fucked up like that.  Michael couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what Gavin saw in him.  And now he was in too deep.

He was tired of thinking about it.  He hated the reminder of it in his everyday life.  He couldn’t escape Gavin with his emotions bursting from his sleeves and his big, dumb, goofy, grin or his stupid face and his gigantic monstrous size nose or the way his hair looked like it had never seen a comb in its entire life.  God, he was such a fucking dipshit who bollocks everything up but you couldn’t stay mad at because he’s the living creation of what happens when you make a puppy into a human-and a stupid one at that.

He squeezed his eyes shut, fists curling against the sheets.  He couldn’t escape it even in his own thoughts.  What an idiot he was.  He couldn’t even remember what this was all about, if there was ever a reason in the first place.

He turned over again with a sigh and pulled Lindsay to him, wrapping as much of himself around her as physically possible.  He needed the reminder of something normal in his life, something he didn’t fuck up.

            “Michael, for fuck’s sake,” she growled sleepily, eyes barely open. “Just call him or stop moping already,”

            “Not moping,” he argued. “I just can’t sleep,”

            “Can’t sleep because you’re over the moon for a British twink but you both are buttheads and won’t say anything,” she mumbled into the pillow.

            “The fuck you say?” he asked, leaning over to peer at her.  She groaned and planted the rest of her face deeper into her pillow to get away from him, but he followed her movements and poked her in her cheek. “Huh? Huh? You know I can’t hear you when you do your pillow talk and I’m just gonna keep doing this until you-“

            “Alright already!” she huffed, turning to face him. “What is going on with you two?”

            Michael put his finger away and shrugged. “I just…needed some time I guess,”

            “And did you tell him that?” she asked redundantly, knowing the obvious truth, but still stared at him as unblinkingly as possible for someone as tired as her.

            He sort of shuffled away to his side, glancing at the untouched phone. “I fucked up, Linds…” he finally confessed to her, to anyone but himself. “I just…I don’t know how to do this. I’m so confused,”

            She scuttled closer to him and spooned him tightly against her body. “It’s okay to be confused.  This is a new thing for all of us,” she said, cheek pressed flat against his back and distorting her sound some.  “But you can’t keep things bottled up because we’re in a relationship now, all three of us, and what you did really hurt Gavin,”

            “I know, and I fucking hate myself for it,” he whispered, curling in tighter and pulling her arm further around him. “The last thing I want to do is to hurt him but I don’t-I don’t know how to deal with this,”

            “One step at a time,” she said, trying to cover her yawn. “Just take it one day at a time and see how it goes from there,”

            He spun around and kissed her forehead. “I guess so,” he murmured.

            “Just trust me,” she slurred sleepily. “I know how this all plays out. You just gotta…gotta touch dicks is all then it’ll all be fines...”

            “Yeah, dicks are always the answer,” he agreed, smiling at her as she started to snore softly.  He felt a yawn take over him and then darkness.


End file.
